god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize