they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
