It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
only if we run a train.
done.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize