tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
