My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
