Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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