Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
