cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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