Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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