All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
