Kiss
Puke
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
