Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
