What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
