So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
