no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
