Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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