look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize