So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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