Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
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