Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
