stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
And then he peed in my hair
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