You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
