I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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