I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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