I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
