MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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