If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
