I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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