hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Green mimosas i think yes
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
