sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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