i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
