Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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