We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wish there were birth control emojis
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize