Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
