hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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