got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
