i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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