you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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