Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
