using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
