Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
