it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
zippers are such a cool invention
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So much rum. So many feels.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
