You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
