She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
