Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
