So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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