Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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