8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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