There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
