That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize