When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
