Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
