she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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