If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
