I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
