the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
