i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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